Baltimore man's Substack on widowhood draws 2,000 subscribers
Michael Friedman, 83, uses his blog to discuss the realities of aging and the lack of medical support for widowers.
By Julian Schulz ·
The U.S. population is shifting rapidly toward older age, yet healthcare systems often lack the language to support patients facing death. In Baltimore, one 83-year-old widower is filling that gap with a free blog that has reached thousands of readers.
Michael Friedman launched his Substack, titled "One (Very) Old Man: Thoughts as I Near the End of My Life," last fall. Since then, the platform has accumulated more than 2,000 subscribers located across 32 states and 17 countries. The site has recorded over 65,500 page views in its first year of operation.
Friedman is a former social worker, mental health advocate, and professor from New York. He moved to Baltimore in 2019 to live near his daughter and grandchildren. His writing combines his professional background in psychology with the personal reality of losing his wife, Harriet, to pancreatic cancer after nearly 49 years of marriage.
"It is misleading. It is this lovely, soft word: grief," Friedman said. "Nothing lovely or soft about it." He describes the experience as feeling lonely even when surrounded by others, with the pain surfacing in random moments throughout the day.
Friedman notes that he and his wife had assumed he would be the one to die first, given his multiple health conditions and her relative health. When the diagnosis arrived, the emotional weight caught him off guard. He struggled to find adequate support for his own mental health during Harriet’s palliative and hospice care.
"It seems to me that the medical profession could pay a lot more attention to the person who is about to be bereaved," he said. In recent posts, he has outlined specific recommendations for medical professionals, including the distribution of brochures on aging and expanded access to therapy for older adults.
The country is aging at a fast pace. U.S. Census projections indicate that all baby boomers will be over 65 by 2030, representing about 20% of the total population. In Maryland, the state Department of Aging estimates that one in four residents will be over 65 by that year. Friedman argues that the current healthcare approach relies on excessive optimism, often dismissing physical decline in favor of potential longevity.
"The human body wears out," Friedman said. He is not writing alone in his assessment. Steven Sharfstein, 84, a retired executive at Sheppard Pratt and adjunct professor of psychiatry, meets with Friedman for lunch every other week to discuss these issues. Sharfstein notes that getting old and becoming infirm remain taboo subjects in society.
